Did you just see the Batmobile???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
being pregnant is like rehab
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
