Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
