Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
