So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I love you. Go after that dick
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
