sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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