For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
