I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
