I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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