therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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