he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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