sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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