We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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