do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize