wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
