Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize