I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
