Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
