she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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