i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
