my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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