real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
