Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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