I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No subtext here. People are naked.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
