the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
