Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
