I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My vagina just clenched in fear
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
