I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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