Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
