How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
