We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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