dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
