Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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