Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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