you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
