We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
