I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
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