My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
