it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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