Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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