I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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