just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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