Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
