Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
