she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
my poor anus
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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