Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My balls are so social today.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and she was petting her beer can
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize