I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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