I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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