I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize