My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
