need another drink. this is the easiest way
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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