I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just had sex bonerless
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
