Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
