also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
