I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
