Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
