You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
