Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
