Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found puke in my bra..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
