Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
