when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
