just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
