Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
