perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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