??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
