direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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