So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize