Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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