You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
how does that bad decision feel?
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