winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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