I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
