go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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