The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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