You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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