I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
