Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize