Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
