dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have fence marks all over my body
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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