Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
