I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
