I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
