I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
