Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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