We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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